After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
