I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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