Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
