What did we do last night that was yellow?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
