The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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