Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
