we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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