i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
