words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
