I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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