She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
