He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
