News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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