two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
