we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
