D3 body, D1 cock
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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