Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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