I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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