From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
