Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
