so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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