I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
