Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
