therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
