did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
