I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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