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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I ordered a moonbounce.

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fuck, you win.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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• (585): View more from New York

  20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?

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• (619): View more from California

  See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  of course

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.

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