He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
