i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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