No stitches, just platelets and will power
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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