THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
