1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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