How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
