I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There r osticjed everywhere
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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