I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
