R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She's the barista slut.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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