I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
