This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
