All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
