Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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