she smelled like a LAN party
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
