Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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