How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
