Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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