Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
