STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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