The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
smell my finger.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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