Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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