Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
