that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They have beer where we have blood.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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