No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
